you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
