i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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