I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
