look no pants
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
