I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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