Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Mom said you looked used
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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