Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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