I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
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Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize