Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
