i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
