I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
