what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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