It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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