i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
