Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
either way he was missing a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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