Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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