We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
