I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
