What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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