when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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