saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize