after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
be right there i have to get my cape
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
