I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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