Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Can Purell be used as lube?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
