we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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