I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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