hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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