All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
