Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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