yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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