all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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