I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Also, beer. Big fan.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
