Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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