He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
