Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
