Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
