Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize