Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He passed out mid-signature
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
