hotel room ftw
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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