I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
