she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
