I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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