Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
