I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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