he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
