he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
