We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
there is puke in my bra ... again
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
