i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
