Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I need moral support for this bender
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Randomize
