so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
