Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My dick has a subreddit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize