Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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