Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
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I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
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sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
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