Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
