The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
