Porn is love you can see.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
